August 2016 – Grace. Truth. Coffee.

Dishonor

August 23, 2016August 30, 2016onebouchard

Stories fascinate me. When my boys were younger, I’d make up new ones for them every day. Bedtimes found us following the adventures of a possum named “Worm” and a cat named “Porcupine.” There were mighty battles between our dog Pete and the geese of doom (who hatched their evil schemes at the lake down the street). Dragons, treasure, and adventure filled the night.

Stories can be a lot of fun. When stories change lives, though, something powerful happens. The most powerful stories in the universe are of redemption. Nothing resonates with our soul quite like a tale of absolution.

Dishonor is an incredible story of rescue and redemption. It tells the true story of David Mike, a soldier who became a deserter. Drug abuse left him on the run. This compelling narrative talks about capture, escape, recapture, and ultimate redemption.

Amid the almost unbelievable ups and down of this crazy adventure, we see much more than just story of chaos, confusion, and confinement. There are powerful moments like the up and down court martial where powerful twists and turns occur. Then he faces decades in prison. The reader is right there with him.

Running from the military police was terrifying. Standing in front of a judge during court martial was humbling. Those stories pale in comparison to what happened once the door was shut and this former soldier began to view the world through iron bars.

How do you find hope when a riot breaks out in prison? What kind of peace can you find when most of the rest of your life will be spent behind bars? Each day is a fight for survival. Each moment brings temptation. In a world where most decisions are made for you, every choice becomes that much more important.

David Mike’s story is one of the most compelling narratives I’ve read since Unbroken. And it’s all true. I found myself ducking in the ditches with Mike as he evaded capture. My lip quivered as his dad walked into the courtroom. Hope faded when those doors slammed shut. And then there was light. Redemption. New hope led to new life.

I’ve had the privilege of not only reading this incredible book, but also of meeting the author in person. Not only is this one of the best redemption stories to publish this year, the man behind the story is just as authentic, inspiring, and full of hope as the words on the pages of this book. This book is the real deal, through and through.

This is the first book review I’ve publicly posted in almost 20 years. David Mike’s incredible book will release on August 30, 2016. Much of the story has been shared on his blog (here). That blog is where I first became enthralled in the story. He posted one story per week for almost two years. I began anticipating Tuesday mornings because I knew the next installment would be waiting for me when I woke up in the morning. And now, it’s a book. This thrills me so much. If ever there were a story that deserved to be published, it’s this one. It has been a joy to follow David Mike‘s journey beyond the prison walls as he has fought to publish this book. His dedication to excellence and his persistence in the process ensure that this will be something truly special. Please consider purchasing this book on 8/30 and watch it skyrocket up the charts. If you can’t buy it that Tuesday, add it to your wishlist and get it soon!

Missing You

August 15, 2016August 14, 2016onebouchard

Just like autumn, this season cycles by regularly. Missing you.

I remember the journey…the months our paths crossed. I tried so hard to make it work. We all did.

But I was missing you. Even though I tried to love without expectation…to fully accept who you are and where you were at…I see now the impossibility. I did have expectations. I tried so hard to love with my whole heart…to pray with my whole spirit…to cling to you with all I had.

I see it now…we didn’t meet you where you were. We were missing you. We tried to meet the needs we perceived, which were different than the needs you actually had. Although we thought we were walking together down the same path, our journeys never really intersected did they? Were we one family? In my heart we were. And we continue to be. But I was missing you.

To some degree, maybe I was enamored by the potential of you. The potential of us. God had given me the daughter I had longed for but never knew I wanted. With my eyes wide open, I recognized your past, faults, and personal limitations and didn’t care about any of it. I accepted you exactly as you were. As much as I hated the abandonment and hurt you had suffered, I thanked God it led you to us. To me. Together, I knew you could finding healing. You could recover. And then you could thrive. That’s what I expected. But I was missing you.

You didn’t need transformation. You weren’t after recovery. You didn’t want a forever family. You never asked us to be one. And yet we tried to be that for you. You aren’t to blame. We were simply missing you. We missed who you really were. We missed getting to know the real person inside the young woman trying to survive. I didn’t understand that your life experiences did not prepare you for the life we threw you into. You had no context for what we offered. And yet we expected you to embrace us. We expected you to appreciate us. We expected you to love us. We expected you to try. But we were missing you.

That you managed to stick with us so long is a testament to your persistence. Or maybe it’s your stubbornness. The life we made for you was a gilded cage, though. It had peace, but you don’t crave peace. It had space, but you don’t need space. It had stability, but you’ve never known stability. It had us, but you’ve never needed us

This isn’t a right or wrong thing. You are who you are, as am I. I still treasure your heart. I still accept you as you are. The jagged and broken pieces of me tear against yours. I grieve because I lost you. And I grieve because I lost the potential of you. And I grieve because I failed to see the real you, and that is a true tragedy.

Now, just like then, I am missing you.

21

August 5, 2016onebouchard

Perhaps you’ve met my sweet princess, Christy Bouchard.

Today is our 21st anniversary. Our story sounds sappy at first glance. She taught me how to tie shoelaces when we were in preschool. We met again in High School, becoming acquaintances at 15 and dating at 16. Sticking together like glue through college, we went on to careers, babies, houses, and grander adventures. By any outward measure, it has been a charmed life. It’s enough to make some people sick. It seems like there has always been a “Christy & Dave.”

A look behind the curtain reveals the full story. Buckets of tears have been shed…a few times caused by each other, and often due to the circumstances life brings our way. There have been profound times of loss…loved ones, jobs, money, pets. Sick kiddos. Sick spouses. There have been nights we have spent wondering if us will make it through this. But we have pushed through those times. We keep persistently moving forward through those dark times until we reemerge in the light.

A good marriage takes work, and some days it feels like the world has deemed this kind of work unworthy of the time and effort. What kind of person does this?

Let me tell you about my sweetie…

First…she’s got the biggest heart of anyone you could hope to meet. She comes by it quite naturally, too. I’ve met her family. That heart not only allows her to persist through the hard times and rejoice in the good time, but it is also the kind of heart that you want to treat with tenderness when she turns it over to you. It would be a tragedy to damage something so pure and beautiful.

Second…she’s the ground to my stars. That may not sound all that romantic, but we all need counterbalance…but I’m a wild-eyed dreamer with my head in the clouds. My vision is always focused on tomorrow and I tend to neglect today. When I’m running off to conferences or early breakfasts, she helps me keep perspective on the here and now…the important things. Like showing up to work or calling the doctor when I’ve been dizzy for weeks on end. Family. Friends. Vacation. That stuff matters.

I could sing my wife’s praises all day long…

The last thing I want to mention is perhaps the most overlooked. You’ve heard about the importance of endurance, persistence, faithfulness, forgiveness, and tolerance. Those are all vital. But the one thing that has been a linchpin is fearlessness. In 21 years, she has frequently heard statements like: “let’s build a chapel in Brazil” or “let’s move to Houston” or “let’s move back to Tulsa.” We have found ourselves kissing in front of Rodin’s “The Kiss” and whipping through small towns in the French countryside in a stranger’s Volvo. Sunrises on the beaches of Brazil and rainy mountaintops on slick dirt roads in that same beautiful country. She’s discovered she has a knack for holding both chickens and babies in foreign lands. And we have both shed tears of joy while watching Christ melt hearts and transform lives in front of our eyes. There have been all those times when we have fearlessly said “yes” when everyone else told us we were crazy. We’ve seen the trajectory of lives change during those times, even as our own hearts broke.

Even more…fearlessness isn’t just about adventure. It isn’t just the things you do. It’s also a way to love. It’s risky. Looking someone in the eyes and handing them your heart unconditionally will lead to hurt. Every time. It takes someone fearless to surrender themselves fully to someone else, trusting that even if there are dings and scrapes, we will both be better in the end because we have loved. We have loved fully and been fully loved. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s hard. But it’s worth it. My goodness, it is worth it.